How Technorati Saved the Upholstery In My Car

San Francisco, CA - This morning I woke up late in San Jose and had to drive to work in San Francisco. Rather than immediately getting on the road I drove to Starbucks because everything comes second to my dependency on coffee these days. As I walked into my friendly neighborhood cafe I could feel my stomach beginning to rumble. I quickly brushed off this feeling and despite my better judgment I ordered a delicious large/venti coffee. For those of you that don't drink coffee it should be said that coffee gets things moving . . . if you know what I'm sayin'.

About 30 minutes later I was driving through Daly City and admiring how the city smells like cupcakes (why this is not talked about more is beyond me) I began to feel the rumble in my stomach growing stronger.

THEN IT HITS ME!

I needed a bathroom ASAP. I turned the radio down so that I could concentrate on the task at hand. Slowly I made my approach into San Francisco and as I was sitting in traffic I began to panic. There is no way I am going to make it to work before the floodgates are set to open so I started looking for a public bathroom. Safeway - No Public Bathroom. Panera Bread - Closed. Train Station - Don't want to contract AIDS.

THEN IT HITS ME!!

My old employer, Technorati is nearby. To make a long story a little bit shorter, I then drove like a madman over to the building that Technorati is housed in, parked across the street, fed the meter, jaywalked, then ran to the third floor to take care of some business. In just 5 minutes and 2 text messages later it was all behind me. Plus I managed to avoid everyone I knew and any awkward conversations.

So you are probably asking yourself, "Self, why did he go to the third floor when Technorati is located on the second floor?" Well, you see, when this happens to you almost on a daily basis, this is just one of the many tricks you pick up. One day I will write a book about how to avoid crapping your pants and bestow my vast knowledge on each and every one of you but until then . . . Happy Tuesday.